love is a mixed up tape

I just finished Love Is a Mix Tape by Rob Sheffield, the head CD reviewer for Rolling Stone. I was a bit suspicious of the book -- it sounded like a typical music writer pitch, the kind I can spot because I've been guilty of them myself, the kind where you say, "hey I've got a great idea for a book" before you have really thought out the idea, because you basically need the money. But the book was way better than expected.

It's about being a big old music nerd and finding true love. It's not always easy for big music nerds to find love, or even to talk to girls at all. So this guy was super lucky, especially because the woman he met was quirky and fun and the kind of Southern gal who knocked Irishmen on their asses when they went on vacation because she had a real ass. (The implication being that Irish ladies do not. I did not know this.)

But the book is also about how his wife dies suddenly and inexplicably -- I'm not spoiling anything, it's right there in the first chapter -- and he has to figure out how to go on. If the stuff about his relationship is inspiring, the stuff about coping with her death is heartbreaking. Check this graf out: "It's the same with people who say, 'Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger.' Even people who say this must realize that the exact opposite is true. What doesn't kill you maims you, cripples you, leaves you weak, makes you whiny and full of yourself at the same time. The more pain, the more pompous you get. Whatever doesn't kill you makes you incredibly annoying."

He's a pretty funny writer, whether talking about how often he'd like to experience both Christmas and "Hey Jude" ("every five years, at one-third the length"), the horrific '90s pop that he loves (Tom Cochrane's "Life Is a Highway"???) or the different kind of mixtapes there are ("We're Doing It? Awesome!" being one).

But mostly, it was nice to read a book about someone I could relate to (he loved Pavement and Big Star) who was really in love with his wife and whose relationship seemed quirky, crazy, and wild fun. Plus, he was articulate about being terrified that he would fuck it up. "When everything sucked and I was by myself, I thought, Well, at least I don't have another miserable person to worry about. I figured if you give up your private place and it still turns out to be lonely, you're just screwed."

The only thing that I didn't like is that it didn't come with a mixtape. To paraphrase Dazed and Confused's Wooderson, it'd be a hell of a lot cooler if it did.