Saturday, November 29, 2008

High Art

Entertainment Weekly just put out an issue devoted to the 50 Sexiest Movies of All Time. And there's some gross omissions, along with some (really) gross additions. I mean, The Bodyguard? Really? Can there be two less sexy people in Hollywood than Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner? And Mr. & Mrs. Smith? If they wanted some Angelina, they should've had Tomb Raider on there -- I heard little boys giggled in delight when she came on the screen. I could go down the list (The Notebook? Ghost?), but suffice it to say that a decent chunk of the list seems to have been put together by your mom.

I had to come up with a list of the sexiest movies left off. Some of these were sexy when I saw them as a teenager and may not be sexy now. Now you tell me what I left off.

1. Lie with Me. This is like one long, sweaty sex scene, even when they're not having sex. Based on the Tamara Faith Berger novella.

2. High Art. Yowza, Ally Sheedy, all my teenage fantasies come true.

3. Women in Love. This featured the first topless woman I ever saw on film. Also the first naked guys by the fireplace wrestling. Confusing.

4. Wings of a Dove. I'm almost embarrassed to admit that I cried during the sex scene at the end, maybe because of the film and maybe because I'd had a boner for Helena Bonham Carter for a loooong time.

5. Something Wild. Yes, Melanie Griffith's voice is annoying. But the rest of her, not so bad (and that includes her kooky personality).

6. Going Places. A French film about two guys traveling the countryside, sleeping with nearly every great French actress of the '70s. Sweeter than it sounds. Pauline Kael turned me on to it.

7. Flashdance, Risky Business, Hot Dog, Fast Times. I could list a bunch more 80s teen flicks, but these remain the most vivid.

8. Un Coeur en Hiver. Is there a more beautiful actress than Emmanuelle Beart? Is there a more heartbreaking film that this? Does it say something weird about me that I can get blue and blue balls at the same time?

9. Coming Home, Klute. Think Jane Fonda was all about the workout? Check out her oral-sex-by-paraplegic scene in Coming Home and see if you're not all hot and bothered. And in Klute she's the best prostitute in film ever, save maybe for Leaving Las Vegas.

10. In the Realm of the Senses. Starts out hot and gets way disturbing, as lust turns to obsession (with a knife).

11. Sex & Zen, Delicatessen, The Tall Guy, Liquid Sky. Sex can be funny and sexy. Especially when it's built into a sword & sorcery epic.

12. The Lover. Yes, Jane March was young. Sorry ladies, but every guy who ever saw this film has it tucked away in their spank bank.

13. Wild Things. Pure trash, but who didn't want to see Neve Campbell make out Denise Richards back in 1998? Not Jake and I, who saw this on opening day.

14. Betty Blue, Diva. Same French director, same mix of melancholy and sex.

15. The Story of O, Emmanuelle, Score. Cheesy boner-inducing Eurotrash. At the Castro showing of Score, a guy was wacking it in the row in front of us.

16. L'ennui. Dirty old man gets comeuppance when he falls for younger woman who dumps him. "L'amour fou" would've been a good name too.

17. An Affair of Love. Two strangers meet in a hotel to act out a transgressive fantasy. And you never find out what it is, which only makes the sexual tension more ripe.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Still Grumpy

Grumpy Guy turns 60!

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Got Milk?

I just got cable recently, which means I got to watch Keith Olbermann for the first time. And, well, he's kind of a blowhard -- but he's our blowhard. And unlike the blowhards across the aisle, he's not hateful. He's a blowhard for truth and justice. Which means he was bound to get an SNL skit spoofing him.

But the guy's spot on a lot of the time. Like in this "special comment" about the passing of Prop 8. I swear I got a tear in my eye while listening, even if it is as corny as he admits the rant is. It's a shame Keith Olbermann isn't gay, because if he was, he'd be getting a lot of action right now.

If you want to get your blood further in a boil, watch Dan Savage yell at some hateful mofo from the Family Research Council. How smug and evil is that guy?

There's also a campaign started to get this thing overthrown. I signed right up, because fuck if I'm going to let someone tell me people like my mom can't get divorced (again) like everyone else.

Oh yeah, and maybe I'm just paranoid, but I think the ad layout person at the Chron might be a Dan White fan. Check out the placement of the gun next to the Milk film screening in Sunday's paper.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Hope Follows a Dope

You know what's going to be great about the next four or eight or kazillion? Many things, hopefully. But right not it's kinda fun watching all the crazies come out. (It won't be fun if one starts shooting, so don't get any big ideas.)

Like the lady nutjob who wrote KKK on her employees' time sheets in a diner in Florida. Or the drunk McCain supporter who bit the nose of an Obama man. Or this Republican congressman (!) from Georgia who suggested that Obama would turn into another Hitler or Stalin. Jesus, when do we get to throw this guy out of office?

What Obama might actually do is sign into law a ton of good shit that Bush vetoed. Right now he's considering reversing the international abortion gag rule, lifting restrictions on stem cell research, and banning the killing of cute, harmless puppies.

There's a fascinating piece in the New Yawk Times on why the racist white people of Western PA finally came around and voted for Obama. Turns out it was the economy, stupid (and stupid Palin, too, apparently).

It's been a blast watching all the Repubs eat their own: Mitten Romney's old flacks dissing Palin, Palin dissing Bush, and Fox News digging their own grave.

But even better is this bittersweet tale that Brent sent along, about the African-American butler to the president, who never thought he'd see the day a black man was elected to the highest post in the country. Get out your hanky for this one.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Tough cookies, nervous hours

Oh god oh god oh god, please let Obama win. I promise I will believe in you a little.

Here's some photos from Halloween, when a bunch of us went to Root Division and then crashed a party in the Mission -- and then got thrown out after barfing and fighting. Seriously.

I am Tough Cookie.

Spoiled Milk kickin' it with Hester Prynne.

The dynamic duo.

Several people thought I was a cow.

Things started to get a little woozy.

Then some guy picked a picked a fight with Dan about the impending release date of Chinese Democracy.

Brent and Marlo came late, all hopped up on absinthe, and missed the fight.

From earlier today.