Saturday, November 29, 2008

High Art

Entertainment Weekly just put out an issue devoted to the 50 Sexiest Movies of All Time. And there's some gross omissions, along with some (really) gross additions. I mean, The Bodyguard? Really? Can there be two less sexy people in Hollywood than Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner? And Mr. & Mrs. Smith? If they wanted some Angelina, they should've had Tomb Raider on there -- I heard little boys giggled in delight when she came on the screen. I could go down the list (The Notebook? Ghost?), but suffice it to say that a decent chunk of the list seems to have been put together by your mom.

I had to come up with a list of the sexiest movies left off. Some of these were sexy when I saw them as a teenager and may not be sexy now. Now you tell me what I left off.


1. Lie with Me. This is like one long, sweaty sex scene, even when they're not having sex. Based on the Tamara Faith Berger novella.

2. High Art. Yowza, Ally Sheedy, all my teenage fantasies come true.

3. Women in Love. This featured the first topless woman I ever saw on film. Also the first naked guys by the fireplace wrestling. Confusing.

4. Wings of a Dove. I'm almost embarrassed to admit that I cried during the sex scene at the end, maybe because of the film and maybe because I'd had a boner for Helena Bonham Carter for a loooong time.

5. Something Wild. Yes, Melanie Griffith's voice is annoying. But the rest of her, not so bad (and that includes her kooky personality).

6. Going Places. A French film about two guys traveling the countryside, sleeping with nearly every great French actress of the '70s. Sweeter than it sounds. Pauline Kael turned me on to it.

7. Flashdance, Risky Business, Hot Dog, Fast Times. I could list a bunch more 80s teen flicks, but these remain the most vivid.

8. Un Coeur en Hiver. Is there a more beautiful actress than Emmanuelle Beart? Is there a more heartbreaking film that this? Does it say something weird about me that I can get blue and blue balls at the same time?

9. Coming Home, Klute. Think Jane Fonda was all about the workout? Check out her oral-sex-by-paraplegic scene in Coming Home and see if you're not all hot and bothered. And in Klute she's the best prostitute in film ever, save maybe for Leaving Las Vegas.

10. In the Realm of the Senses. Starts out hot and gets way disturbing, as lust turns to obsession (with a knife).

11. Sex & Zen, Delicatessen, The Tall Guy, Liquid Sky. Sex can be funny and sexy. Especially when it's built into a sword & sorcery epic.

12. The Lover. Yes, Jane March was young. Sorry ladies, but every guy who ever saw this film has it tucked away in their spank bank.

13. Wild Things. Pure trash, but who didn't want to see Neve Campbell make out Denise Richards back in 1998? Not Jake and I, who saw this on opening day.

14. Betty Blue, Diva. Same French director, same mix of melancholy and sex.

15. The Story of O, Emmanuelle, Score. Cheesy boner-inducing Eurotrash. At the Castro showing of Score, a guy was wacking it in the row in front of us.

16. L'ennui. Dirty old man gets comeuppance when he falls for younger woman who dumps him. "L'amour fou" would've been a good name too.

17. An Affair of Love. Two strangers meet in a hotel to act out a transgressive fantasy. And you never find out what it is, which only makes the sexual tension more ripe.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

just saw a movie entitled 'failan' on mysoju.com. reminded me of wings of the dove. i love choi min shik.
surprised better off dead ain't on there.
dboy